


All That Stands Between You and I (is the guy we both want to fuck)

by orphan_account



Series: The James/Mike Universe [4]
Category: Sorted (Website) RPF
Genre: Anal Sex, Angst with a Happy Ending, Ben goes through some shit okay, Come Eating, Comeplay, M/M, Mutual Pining, Oral Sex, Other, Polyamory Negotiations, Relationship Negotiation, Sex Tapes, Threesome - M/M/M, also a gratuitous amount of hickeys, but it's all very good in the end
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-12-14
Updated: 2018-12-14
Packaged: 2019-09-17 22:50:27
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 16,017
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/16983291
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/orphan_account/pseuds/orphan_account
Summary: “Would you be interested in having a threesome? With Ben?”James blinks, obviously a little thrown by his boyfriend’s directness, but he nods with no real hesitation.“Yeah, I would. Would you?”Mike nods.-Ben discovers that James and Mike made a sex tape, watches it, and goes through some serious emotional turmoil. He goes into work the next day fully prepared to tender his resignation, but James and Mike offer a different solution.





	All That Stands Between You and I (is the guy we both want to fuck)

For Mike’s thirtieth birthday, the boys get him a camera. It’s a little Sony a7S digital camera, easily portable but great quality, and Mike instantly falls in love with it. He’s used to tripods and body mounts, big cameras that take lots of setting up and messing around, and while he still loves them dearly, this new camera is something else. It took him a little while to get used to holding a camera one-handed with his notoriously shaky hands, and his first few videos were so shaky they made him motion sick, but these days he’s much better at it. His permanent tremor is still around, and there’s no way the videos he shoots on his Sony will ever be as still as those he shoots for the channel, but they are at least watchable.

He doesn’t really films things with much of a purpose. He’s not big on Instagram, though a few of his videos have ended up there, and seeing as the majority of his videos feature James he mostly avoids posting them anywhere; their relationship isn’t something they’re open about on the channel, and although anyone looking over their Instagram pages with a discerning eye could probably figure out that they’re together, neither of them is interested in having a particularly public relationship. For that reason, most of the things Mike films stay with him; he sends some out on the Sorted group chat, and he often sends clips of James being adorable to Jen, the bartender at their favourite bar (now every time James tries to dodge her hugs, she threatens to play the clips on the bar’s TV. James gives in quickly). More than anything, he likes the camera because it gives him the opportunity to try out new filming styles without worrying that he’s wasting everyone’s time: he gets to play around with angles and timing, figure out some cool new ways of lighting and framing a shot. He’s so gratified when he spots a few comments on one of the Sorted videos that compliment the really effective filming style, because Mike had been behind the camera that day – it’s good to know all his dicking around with his little Sony paid off.

It’s honestly shocking that it takes nearly six months for he and James to make a sex tape.

The thought only occurs to him when he gets up one morning to find he left the camera on the dresser, lens pointed at the bed purely by coincidence. He smirks. That night he puts it back in the same place and steps back, considering. When he brings it up to James in what he thought was a totally nonchalant way (“Have you ever filmed yourself having sex? No reason, just curious…”), his boyfriend gives him a long, contemplative look. When he finally speaks, his words are measured and deliberate, spoken around a burgeoning smile:

“I wouldn’t be opposed to it.”

They film it that night, both too keyed up to sleep on the idea. Mike sucks James off, trying to balance his desire to draw the video out with the frantic energy that’s fizzling under his skin, and it only lasts ten minutes or so: James’ performative streak comes out to play and he won’t stop talking, and James’ dirty talk has always got Mike so worked up he can’t think straight. Mike ends up sucking James off with too much energy to make it last and James comes in his mouth, the camera drawing out a louder orgasm from him than usual. They kiss slowly and filthily while James comes down from his high, and Mike jokes about their complete inability to make the video last. It’s a fun, surprisingly carefree experience, and Mike whispers against James’ lips that he loves him, grinning like an idiot when James bites his bottom lip in response.

He shuts the camera off, agreeing to James’ suggestion that they should give it another go sometime so they can actually make it to the _sex_ in their sex tape, then _really_ agreeing when James says he owes Mike an orgasm.

 

* * *

 

The next day in the studio, the SD card on their stationary camera fills up before they’re finished filming, so Mike grabs the one from his Sony as a quick fix. James doesn’t think about what might be on it when he gives Ben the card at the end of the day, asking him to have a look over the footage tonight before Mike edits it tomorrow. Ben doesn’t think about it either, because why would he? He takes the card happily, slotting it into his laptop when he gets home that evening. He’s a little surprised that there are two files on the card – he’d thought they got all the stationary shots in one take – but assumes someone accidentally cut before they were done.

He most certainly does not assume that the first file he opens will be a sex tape.

He’d just turned to grab his phone, but jumps when a deep chuckle emanates from the speakers, set far too loud from when he’d been listening to podcasts while cooking last night. He listens intently to the soft breathing and shuffling, trying to remember when they’d filmed _this_ , and then a familiar voice breaks through the relative quiet.

“All set, baby,” Mike says, his voice laden with this sultry quality that has something firing in Ben’s gut. He stares at his laptop, mouth hanging open; _This isn’t the Sorted studio_ , his stunned mind offers. Ben’s only been to James’ flat a few times but he quickly recognises the scene as James’ bedroom, and the figure on the bed as James himself. He’s wearing boxers but he’s clearly hard, his prone position belying the mouth-wateringly thick bulge. Ben gapes, but is spurred to action when another figure he recognises wanders into frame from behind the camera, naked but for some black boxer-briefs.

He slams the lid of his laptop down, snatching his hand back as though it burnt him. _Shit_.

“There’s no way that wasn’t a sex tape,” he murmurs, barely aware that he’s speaking out loud. He runs a hand over his face, cataloguing his own heavy breathing, the prickling sweat on his palms.

 _Shit_.

He takes the SD card out of its slot before opening his laptop again, breathing a sigh of relief when the media player displays a blank screen. Wiping his sweaty hands on his trousers he opens his emails and finds a few that need responses reasonably soon; he does his best to put the video from his mind and sets to work.

His decisive ignorance lasts all of twenty minutes before Ben finds himself at a standstill, gaze straying towards the SD card sitting in the coffee table. He shakes his head and focuses again on his laptop, managing another five minutes before he looks at the card again. He groans and presses the heels of his palms to his face, enjoying the yellowy-white static that swims through his head in response.

He’s not going to watch the video. He’s _not_.

It’s a private video, made by two of his closest friends who never intended for it to see the light of day. It would be a _huge_ breach of privacy for him to watch it, regardless of how curious he is. It would undoubtedly make him feel like shit, too, to have a visual depiction of something he can never have.

He’s _not_ going to watch the video.

 

* * *

 

“James.” 

“Mm.”

“That SD card you gave Ben. Did you look at it before you gave it to him?”

James sighs, eyes closed as he lets his head loll against the back of the couch.

“I did not. Is that an issue?”

Mike hums, contemplative.

“Possibly.”

James groans, pulling himself up off the couch to saunter into the kitchen. He’s not wearing a shirt, just boxers as usual, and Mike listens as his bare feet pad softly over the hardwood floors. James wraps his arms around Mike’s middle, large palms splaying over his bare stomach, and he presses a kiss into the side of his head when he feels Mike instinctively suck in.

“Stop doing that,” James whispers into his hair. When Mike relaxes, he rewards him by licking up the side of his neck to his jaw, grazing his teeth over the stubble on his chin. “Why is it possibly an issue?”

Mike sighs, resting his head back against James’ shoulder.

“That, uh…that sex tape we made might have been on it.”

James’ fingers clench ever so slightly on his stomach.

“Might have been?”

“Definitely was.” The blond clears his throat, nodding in resignation. “The sex tape we made was definitely on the SD card we gave Ben. Which he’s probably watching right now.”

It’s silent then, James’ breathing in Mike’s ear a little laboured but even nonetheless. Mike’s heart is beating hard and he’s struggling to differentiate his emotions: he knows there’s fear, anxiety, even a little bit of guilt, because this is very much his fault and he worries what Ben might make of the situation. Thing is, though, there’s not as much fear as there should be: he’s _excited_ by the prospect of Ben watching them together, seeing more of both of them than he’s ever seen. _More than he ever wanted to see_ , his brain tries, but even as the thought comes to him he knows it’s a fallacy. He’s excited by the idea that Ben will watch the video – the _whole_ video – and be turned on by it.

“He might be getting himself off to it.”

Missing the lasciviousness he’d been going for, Mike’s words instead come out in an awed breath. James chuckles in his ear, and the fingers on his stomach start up a tantalisingly slow caress.

“Do you like that idea?” James asks, and Mike shakes his head in something they both know isn’t a ‘no.’ At best it’s an ‘I don’t know,’ but really it’s closer to an ‘I don’t know if I should admit that I like it so, so much.’ James’ breath is warm in his ear.

“ _I_ like that idea.”

His voice is so quiet it feels as though Mike shouldn’t have heard, like maybe James was speaking to himself. Confessing.

Then the man turns his head and whispers the words again, his beard bristling against the shorter hairs on the side of Mike’s head. It is a confession – one for the both of them – but it’s more than that. It’s a suggestion, an _offer_ , and Mike finds himself nodding emphatically. James’ fingers haven’t stopped their movement against his skin and his other hand slips around from his hip to the tie of his pyjama bottoms, tugging slowly to give Mike a chance to protest. He doesn’t – he’s not an idiot – and soon James has got his trousers pushed down around Mike’s thighs and a hand fondling at his balls. Mike huffs a laugh when James nibbles at his earlobe.

He watches James’ hand move over his cock and feels, for a moment, that it’s his own: so rarely has someone else touched him from this angle, the only angle from which he can touch himself, and he relishes the novelty of feeling James’ hair in both of his hands while the stroking of his own cock continues. He basks in the calloused touch and the image of Ben watching them, touching himself. It’s instinct to bite back the moan that bubbles at his lips, but tonight feels like a breaking of boundaries so he lets go of the noise, freeing it into the charged air of the kitchen with a blissful smile.

“Show me how Ben touches himself.”

It’s a weird thing to say – obviously James doesn’t know – but the way his boyfriend’s hips stutter against his ass tells him it had the desired effect. James adjusts his hand slightly and Mike has to suck in a breath at how _firm_ his grip is now. His movements start up again, ever-so-slightly tighter this time, and it’s a little dry but it still has Mike’s head lolling back against James’ shoulder. He groans when the hand pulls away.

“Lick,” a husky voice says in his ear, and Mike leans forward to run his tongue sloppily along the hand in front of his face. He gets in between the fingers a little, knowing how James’ eyes will be darkening and his mouth hanging open. The tight drag of James’ hand pulls a wrecked noise from Mike when the touch resumes, this time slick and perfect. Mike’s hips start rolling into it of their own accord but James’ hand at his waist stills the motion, chastising.

“I can’t show you if you keep trying to take over,” he mutters into his ear, and an apology falls from Mike’s tongue before he can swallow it back. James hums, amused.

It’s slow at first, a tight yet teasing touch that Mike has to tense every muscle in his abdomen to avoid chasing again. James caresses his index finger up over the head of Mike’s cock on every upstroke, then back down as he pulls his hand back towards Mike’s stomach. The movements are slow and deliberate at first but they become fluid after a few strokes, a constant glide of up-slide-over-slide-back-down. It’s not how James usually jacks him off at _all_ but it’s fucking _incredible_. Mike’s mouth hangs open while he watches James work his magic, and is almost mortified to see a string of drool drop from his own mouth to James’ hand until the hand loosens its grip and flattens palm-up, Mike’s cock just resting in its hold.

“Spit,” James commands.

To see his spit slide over his own cock into someone else’s hand, and for that hand to then use it to lubricate its movements, is stunning. Mike’s not sure he’ll ever be able to jack himself off again, knowing just how much better this is.

James whispers against his cheek, “Does that feel good, Ben?” and Mike surprises himself by moaning so hard he pants from it, lungs burning delightfully.

“Fuck, it feels so good. So good, baby.”

James’ hips have been grinding into his ass for a while now. Mike wonders idly if he’ll come just from that.

“Do you think Ben plays with his balls, too?” James asks even as his free hand grasps at Mike’s, tugging a bit just to delay Mike’s response with a moan.

“ _God_ , yeah, I bet he does. Bet he’s on the couch right now, stroking his dick and pulling on his balls at the same time, imagining it’s your hands on him.”

James lets out a whine, and Mike grins because finally, _finally_ , he’s sounding just as wrecked as Mike himself does. James’ hand is warm, his fingers stroking the soft, sensitive skin behind his balls while the other hand doesn’t falter on his cock. It’s so much, so _good_ , Mike might never be able to get enough breath back into his lungs.

“He’s thought about your mouth before, I’m sure he has,” James says. His tone is so light he might be commenting on the weather – Mike’s going to _die_. “I wonder how he’d react to finding out first-hand just how good you are with your mouth, how talented that silver tongue really is.”

Mike whines and his hips buck of their own accord, but James doesn’t tell him off this time.

“Would you like that? Sucking Ben’s cock?”

Mike whines again, nodding frantically, and the deep chuckle that rumbles in his ear and against his back makes him shudder in pleasure; it travels through his skin into his bones, settling hot and writhing in his groin, and Mike realises with muted surprise that he’s very, very close to coming. He tries to voice this but is hit by waves of pleasure before he has a chance, and what spills from his mouth instead are ecstatic, broken moans. His orgasm lasts a long time, James’ cruelly tight grip prolonging the convulsions until Mike’s a quivering mess, begging him to stop.

He turns and starts to lower himself to his knees but James shakes his head, and Mike realises that he actually _had_ come just from grinding into Mike’s ass. _Fuck_ , that’s hot. They kiss deeply for a long time. Somewhere along the line Mike puts a hand over the sticky wetness of James’ boxers just to feel, and grins when the man shudders with sensitivity.

“Work tomorrow is going to be very awkward, huh?”

James laughs, his breath washing over Mike’s neck and chest.

“On both sides, if we’re right about him watching it.”

 

* * *

 

Ben watches the video.

He holds out for a good hour, answering emails and watching the news and getting halfway through an episode of _The Good Place_. He tries _so hard_ to be good, but the SD card is taunting him from the coffee table, and he can’t even throw it away because it’s not his. Besides, that Sorted video he needs to watch is on there, and it might well be the only copy they have of the file so he _can’t_ get rid of it.

Taking a deep breath and resolving _not_ to look at the sex tape, Ben slots the card into his laptop and opens the file manager. He even highlights the Sorted video, his finger hovering over the ‘enter’ key – then clicks onto the other file and opens it.

Mike’s honey-sweet voice oozes through his speakers again. This time, Ben doesn’t fight the shudder that rolls through him. _I’ll watch it once_ , he reasons with himself, _then I can be done with it._ Even manages to convince himself that that’s the truth while Mike saunters into frame in his boxers, crawling up the bed over James’ supine body. It isn’t until they first kiss, when Mike rolls his body sinuously down onto James’ and James jolts when their crotches rub together, that Ben realises how fucking wrong he was.

He’s never going to be able to stop watching this video.

He stares, mouth open, as Mike kisses his way down James’ naked chest; he takes in every twitch of James’ jaw and quirk of Mike’s eyebrows. He’s not sure if the audio is being picked up by the camera’s microphone or a separate piece of equipment but whatever it is, it doesn’t miss a thing: the couple’s heavy breathing comes loud and clear through Ben’s laptop speakers, such good quality it sounds like they could be in the room. Like if he just closed his eyes…

 _No_ , he thinks firmly. _You can watch the video but you keep your eyes open, Benjamin. You are NOT pretending that two of your best friends are in the room with you – you WILL NOT close your eyes._

He closes his eyes.

The effect is immediate, those soft sighs and cut-off moans taking on a life of their own in the charged air of his empty living room. They sound so _close_ , like he could reach out and touch if he wanted, but he knows it will break the illusion if he tries so instead he touches himself. It shocks him how hard he already is – he hasn’t touched himself at all until now – and as he gets his dick out of his jeans his own moan mingles with James’. His eyes fly open, desperate to see what’s happening; Mike’s already got James’ cock – which is fucking _big_ , Christ – in his mouth, bobbing his head at a teasingly slow pace. James bites his lip around another moan and Ben finds himself fixating on the soft up-and-down movement of his toned stomach. He’s always marvelled at James’ figure, the muscles that adorn his lean form, and he drinks his fill of the vision James presents right now. James runs a hand through Mike’s hair, the movement making his bicep tense and relax deliciously – Ben wonders, not for the first time, how that skin would taste under his tongue.

There’s a slick popping sound, and Ben shifts his focus to watch Mike pull off of his boyfriend’s cock with a grin. He throws James a lewd wink then lays his cock flat against his stomach, diving back in to take his balls in his mouth one at a time. Mike never takes his eyes off James, just licks and sucks and slurps like he can’t get enough, and Ben has to squeeze hard around the base of his cock to stave off a particularly violent shiver. He gets a hand around his own balls, tugging gently, while the other hand works his cock slowly. He doesn’t want to finish too quickly.

More than anything, he wants to see what James and Mike look like when they come.

Every so often Ben closes his eyes and lets himself pretend they’re in the room with him, but he prefers to watch the screen. He’s known for a long time that James and Mike are a beautiful couple, has marvelled at how serene and lovely they look when they hold each other, when they share chaste (and often less-than-chaste) kisses in the studio. He’s seen them move with one another at home, the unrehearsed choreography of their existence in one another’s space, so he knows they’re gorgeous together.

He never realised how _stunning_ they’d look while having sex.

They’ve been together for well over a year now so they’ve had time to learn each other’s bodies, and it shows. Mike has James moaning and writhing with pleasure in no time at all, and James makes Mike groan around his cock with a tight grip in his hair and some choice words.

And _God_ , can James talk.

“You look so good like this, baby,” he’s saying, throwing around this dirty talk that should sound contrived and eyeroll-inducing, but Ben finds himself moaning in unison with Mike at his voice. “Feel so good around my cock, you take it like such a good boy.”

Ben has never heard James utter the words “good boy” before, but the full-body shudder it sends through him is enough to prove he’s _definitely_ into it. He’s fucking up into his own fist now, grip tight and wet, and he hasn’t even taken his fucking clothes off; his shirt is rucked halfway up his stomach and his jeans are undone, shoved down just enough to get his dick out but still very much on. Something about it makes this feel even dirtier, like he might have to tuck himself away and feign composure in a second.

He fucking hopes that doesn’t happen, because he never wants to stop watching this.

“Love your mouth, Mike, that tongue of yours is fucking _sinful_ , baby.” James’ voice is breathy and strung-out, and Mike obviously recognises something in the tone because he pulls off, takes a quick breath, then starts sucking again with renewed energy.

“Fuck, baby – _shit_ – you’re gonna make me come with that perfect mouth,” and _oh God_ , James is about to come and Ben is right there with him. His pace on his own cock is so punishing he’s barely even bothering to swipe over the head at the upstroke because he’s so close, but when he’s just about to come he focuses just on the tip of his cock, swirling his thumb around and around the slit until his orgasm bubbles up and runs over. He comes with a punched-out sigh, his stomach muscles clenching and convulsing far longer than they usually do, and for a minute it feels like he’ll never come down. His head is thrown back against the couch but he can hear the stuttering sighs that follow James’ orgasm, the hiss he makes when Mike keeps sucking at his too-sensitive cock. Ben’s hips fuck up into his fist a few more times before he finally lets himself go.

He holds his come-covered hand in front of him, unwilling even at this new height of debauchery to wipe it off on his shirt, and watches as Mike crawls up James’ body to kiss his come into his own mouth. Ben is expecting James to push him away with disgust, so he’s surprised when James’ arm winds around Mike’s shoulders to let him deepen the kiss. It should be gross, but the way Mike’s grinning into James’ mouth has Ben wishing it could be him – he’s not sure _who_ he wants to be in this situation, he just wishes he could be a part of it in some way, wishes he could be the one grinning into James’ mouth _and_ the one pulling Mike in even closer. He longs to be so carefree with someone.

Eventually Mike pulls away, sitting up so he’s straddling James with a knee either side of his waist, and James’ hands immediately settle onto his thighs. They’re smiling with such fierce adoration that Ben looks away, crumbling as he remembers how _wrong_ this is. He feels a little sick, because it’s one thing to watch the sex tape of two of your close friends but to actually get off to it? To _pretend they’re in the room with you_? God, he’s never felt so shit.

Through the devastating fug of his own shame, he hears Mike chuckle, “Typical us, too excited to even fuck properly,” and James’ answering laughter. He shuts his laptop just as Mike’s getting up, presumably to cut the video, then heaves himself up off the sofa and into the bathroom. He holds his shirt up so it doesn’t touch the come on his stomach – realising later that his orgasm had thrown come all over the shirt anyway – and he ruefully wipes himself off with his facecloth before washing his hands, letting the water sluice over his skin far longer than necessary and avoiding his own eyes in the mirror.

The worst thing about how shit he feels is that there’s a little part of him that _doesn’t_ feel shit. There’s a small part of him that wants to open his laptop, get his cock back out, and start the video from the beginning – wants to catalogue how James breathes when he’s getting his dick sucked and how Mike looks with his mouth stuffed full. That part of him wishes he’d been able to see Mike come, too, because he’s wondered idly for years (and years and years) what the blond would look like in the throes of orgasm, and he’s a little disappointed he still doesn’t know.

 _Shit_. How is he supposed to go to work tomorrow and face them, knowing what they look like when they’re swapping a mouthful of come back and forth in a passionate kiss? He’s not sure if he’s going to blush head-to-toe or pop an immediate boner on sight, or be physically sick. It’s a toss-up – more than likely, it will eventuate in a combination of the three.

Sleep mostly eludes him that night – he drifts into turbulent dozes here and there, regularly interrupted by the leaden weight of dread in his stomach, his limbs, his heart. At one point he’s woken by the sound of James moaning, so close and so _real_ he actually rolls over and reaches out for him. The dread returns quickly when his hand closes over cold, vacant sheets.

 

* * *

 

“What if he did watch it?”

James tilts his head in a silent question. They’re still in bed, their ruined clothing discarded, and Mike’s got a leg thrown over James’ thigh. Their dicks brush every so often but it goes mostly unnoticed: they’re both so spent, exhausted from what has been a very revealing evening.

“What do we do if he watched it? Because I’m pretty certain we’ve both thought about Ben _like that_ , if the fact that we both just got off to the idea of him jerking off is anything to go by.” James grins, half-guilty and half-smug. “So if he watched it – most importantly, if he _liked_ it – should we…should we do something about it?”

“Do something about it?” James repeats, like he knows what Mike means but he’s trying to be a dickhead and make him say it explicitly. Mike huffs, flustered. He’s never had a conversation like this before: it’s very much out of his comfort zone. He decides that honesty is probably the way to go.

“Okay, well, I’ll ask you this: would you be interested in having a threesome? With Ben?”

James blinks, obviously a little thrown by his boyfriend’s directness, but he nods without hesitation.

“Yeah, I would. Would you?”

Mike nods. They both breathe out hard, because that was a big thing to admit, but now they have another big thing to figure out: how the hell they’re going to get Ben into bed with them.

If that’s even what he wants.

“What happens if Ben doesn’t want that?” Mike asks, even though the answer is obvious. He often asks James questions with obvious answers: hearing James tell it like it is is just a lot more definitive than saying it to himself.

“If he doesn’t want that, we don’t do it. And we probably try to stop involving him in our sex fantasies, because that wouldn’t really be fair anymore.”

He says it in such a relaxed way that Mike really believes it could really be as simple as that.

 

* * *

 

Ben slouches into work the next morning with a throbbing headache, already drafting his resignation in his head. _Slouch_ is the only appropriate word for it: his shoulders are hunched, his head down, and his movements are a slow and shuffling contrast to his usual precision. He returns Barry’s boisterous wave with a sleepy nod, plonking down at his desk with relief. Mike catches his eye from the tea station; Ben quickly looks away.

In a fit of sleepless abandon, he’d watched the video again last night. He’d let himself take in every detail of Mike and James’ bodies, let himself notice the things he’d missed the first time, and he’d put earphones in so that every noise was even closer, even more intimate.

He’d somehow come even harder that second time.

This morning he’d seriously debated calling in sick, and the face that had greeted him in the bathroom mirror could certainly have passed for gravely ill. A shower had him feeling marginally better, though, and by the time he’d forced down some eggs on toast he’d slipped into a happy daydream that Mike and James would never realise what they’d given him on the card, and everything could go on as usual.

Now that he’s in the studio, Ben’s desperately regretting coming in at all.

He busies himself with organising things on his desk, booting up his computer and intently avoiding looking at anyone. Out of the corner of his eye he sees Mike put a cup of tea on James’ desk, the same way he does every morning, and those eggs churn worryingly in his stomach.

James shoots him a shy smile, and Ben’s focusing so hard on returning it without throwing up that he doesn’t stop to wonder what James is shy about.

 

* * *

 

The day drags on interminably. Ben messes up countless takes, the slightest touches from Mike have him jumping like he’s been shocked, and James asks him questions he doesn’t hear but that he’s too anxiety-ridden to ask him to repeat. Even Barry and Jamie have a hard time getting through to him: Jamie’s terrible jokes go right over Ben’s head, and not once during the day does Ben make fun of Barry for mumbling. Everyone asks him what’s wrong, and he does his best to pass his strange mood off as a lack of sleep.

Mike makes a few attempts to take Ben aside and talk to him in the morning, but Ben ducks him every time. James then tries to sit with him for lunch – Ben puts his earphones in and starts playing a podcast. He’s being unspeakably rude, and sometimes his body tries to physically fight against his movements, sticking his feet in place when his mind is screaming at him to run. When Ben is stuck with James in the kitchen to prep for tomorrow’s filming, James keeps trying to make conversation. Ben does his best to ignore him, but his polite instincts kick in without his say-so, and he ends up making a lot of garbled, strangled-out noises that aren’t words at all – not even close. Eventually James gives up, but it doesn’t relax Ben any. Barry wanders in at one point trying to make conversation but scurries out quickly, and Ben isn’t surprised; the very air in the place feels thick with tension, so much so that his own movements are far more sluggish than usual.

More likely it’s the solid, concrete guilt that’s replaced every fibre in Ben’s body that’s slowing him down.

By the time people start heading home Ben has garnered several worried looks from everyone in the studio, and he gets ready to leave with the image of his blissfully solitary flat in mind. He’d dropped the SD card on James’ desk when neither James nor Mike were anywhere near, thankful to be rid of the damn thing, and the action had brought the first trace of relief he’s felt all day.

He hears footsteps approaching and looks up to see James placing the card on Ben’s desk, next to his bag, and that mote of relief dissipates immediately, replaced with spine-tingling fear. Ben’s already erratic heart rate skyrockets. He makes a mental note to book in with his doctor: surely spending an entire day in a state of tachycardia is cause for concern.

“So.”

James doesn’t say anything more, and Ben doesn’t know what to do so he stays silent. They stay like that for a moment, James standing over Ben who’s hunched in his chair, until Mike ambles over and pulls up a chair next to Ben.

“So,” Mike says, drawing the word out and sounding conspicuously jaunty, “I’m assuming, given that you haven’t looked either me or James in the eye all day, that you saw what was on that SD card.”

Ben’s silence speaks volumes. Mike clears his throat.

“Right. Well, this is sufficiently awkward.” He chuckles, scratching at the back of his neck and shifting around in the chair. James is still standing over them with his arms crossed, but the posture isn’t defensive or (Ben is relieved to notice) angry. Mike takes a breath.

“Did you watch it?”

The words tumble out so quickly they run over each other and he ends up sounding like Barry. Ben wants to say that, say _something_ to break the tension, but again he lets his silence speak for him.

“What did you think?”

Ben’s head snaps up in surprise. James’ face is open and he looks genuinely curious. Ben looks to Mike, wondering if this is some kind of joke, but Mike looks just as interested. Ben swallows hard.

“I watched it twice.”

It says more than ‘I liked it’ ever could, and he feels the couple share a look over his head. His eyes focus intently on his desk to avoid that look, to hide the desperate shame that shutters his features. His body has never felt as heavy as it does right at this moment, glued to his chair by the sheer weight of his own humiliation. He drifts back to his mental letter of resignation, starting to flesh it out properly because he will _definitely_ need to write it up when he gets home.

If he ever _does_ make it home. He’s more likely to just combust right here in the studio. The team will find him tomorrow morning, just a pile of self-loathing ash. The thought makes him a disturbingly serenity.

“You watched it twice,” James repeats.

His voice gives nothing away, so Ben gives in and looks up. He expects to see anger, maybe confusion, definitely indignance. What he doesn’t expect, however, is the slight smile that quirks at his lips, the darkness of his eyes. The intensity of that stare pins him; Ben can do nothing but gaze open-mouthed at the man above him. The ache that’s plagued his chest all day pulls back ever-so-slightly.

“Can I assume that means you liked it, then?”

Mike’s voice isn’t teasing. Ben doesn’t really know what to do here. He doesn’t know what’s _happening_ , God, why aren’t they angry? Why isn’t James high-kicking him in the face, or twisting his arm behind his back and slamming his face into the desk? Why isn’t Mike scolding him for breaking the trust they’ve built since school?

Why is Mike fucking _grinning_?

“I, uh,” Ben starts, his voice is gravelly with under-use. “Yeah. I liked it.”

He’s beet-fucking-red and shivering with nerves, but Mike hasn’t stopped smiling, and James hasn’t slammed his head into a table, so. Maybe things are okay?

“Good,” James and Mike say at the same time, and they share a little smile. Mike tilts his head towards James gently, indicating he should speak, so James steals the chair from Barry’s desk and drags it over. When he sits down he rests his elbows on his knees, and Ben notices (as he always does) how the position pulls the sleeves of his t-shirt tight around his upper arms. James catches him staring and bites his lip.

“Before Mike and I got together,” James starts, “there were so many times I thought I could have him. I’d catch him looking at me a little too long, or he’d make a stupid joke and look thrilled when I laughed at it. Remember when he started turning on my computer before I got into the studio?”

Ben nods, catching the blush Mike’s trying to hide behind his hands. Ben has no idea where this is going.

“He did that because he knew I hated waiting for it to boot up. I kept thinking I’d left it on the night before, but Jamie dropped enough hints that I realised it was him.”

“That bastard,” Mike mutters under his breath, but he doesn’t look that upset. He and James share a smile; for some reason, Ben doesn’t feel like he’s intruding.

“All those times,” James carries on, sounding a little more wistful. “All those times I realised that he might be feeling the same way I did, but I stopped myself from saying anything because I was scared to be wrong.”

Ben doesn’t say anything. He doesn’t need to, not really, but even if he were expected to talk he doesn’t think he could: every word James says makes his hands and chest ache with recognition, because this is Ben’s fucking _world_. He watches the things he wants from afar and convinces himself that he’ll never have a chance, or he talks himself out of doing something about it. He remembers watching Mike and James dance around one another, the frustration he’d felt when they’d back away from chances to be honest with one another, the hushed conversations with Barry, Jamie, and the rest of the Sorted team asking _why won’t these idiots just get together already?_

“I regret every day that went by without me telling him how I felt.”

James’ voice wavers but doesn’t crack. Ben looks up expecting to see James holding Mike’s gaze, and is surprised to instead have those green eyes boring into his own. He gulps but doesn’t look away – if there was ever a time to be braver than he felt, it’s right now.

“I regret the _years_ Mike and I spent circling around each other, too scared or too stupid to be honest with ourselves. Every day I wake up with him in my bed, I berate myself for denying us those years we could have had together.”

Ben nods in understanding. He’s not entirely sure what this has to do with him, but he’s gratified that James and Mike feel comfortable being so honest with him. He steals a glance at Mike to find the blond looking right back at him, a soft smile on his lips even though his brow is furrowed. He looks a little worried ( _apprehensive_ , Ben’s brain supplies curiously), and he wonders why.

“I don’t want to add another regret to my list.”

He looks into Ben’s eyes as he says this, and Ben stares back because he doesn’t know what the hell else to do. He keeps gulping, hands clenched into fists in his lap.

“I don’t want to spend years feeling that same horrible ache in my chest whenever I look at you, always wondering what could have been if I’d only get the fuck over myself and speak my mind.”

There’s this moment of shared breath in which everything between the three of them is almost, almost silent. Ben is overcome with emotions he doesn’t know how to categorise and he doesn’t know what to say so he just nods.

Then he says, “Mike really worked hard to woo you, didn’t he?”

He breathes a relieved sigh when the tension breaks and James and Mike both chuckle. James grins, nodding, and Ben cops a playful elbow from Mike.

“I genuinely cannot count the number of times I had a cup of tea, perfectly made and steaming, on my desk when I came in to work. It happened at least once a week.”

“You can’t prove that was me,” Mike protests.

“I have Jamie’s word, which I hold in surprisingly high esteem,” James responds, leaning back in his chair with an air of finality.

Mike rolls his eyes, muttering, “That snitch.”

James gazes at him fondly. Ben’s heart aches the way it always does when he catches these moments of theirs, but again, it doesn’t feel like he’s intruding. For once his aching chest isn’t accompanied by a sinking in his gut, a strong sense that he’s witnessing something in which he’ll never be involved.

For once, it feels like he might be a part of things.

“So,” he says slowly, impressed that his voice is steady, “tell me if I’m reading this wrong: you’re saying that you’d be annoyed…that you’d _regret_ not telling me how you feel.”

Mike and James nod.

“About me.”

They nod again, and there’s this little smirk twitching at the corner of James’ mouth that sends Ben’s attempt at coherent thought fizzling. Luckily, Mike chimes in for him.

“We’re saying that we like you, Ben. A lot. Which you already know, but we like you…” He pauses for a second and a look passes between the couple. Mike takes a deep breath and changes tack. “Last night we realised that you had the card with our, uh, _tape_ on it, and…fuck, okay, we found it _incredibly_ hot to think about you watching it, okay?”

Ben blinks. _Oh_.

“You found it hot?”

He knows he’s being intentionally dim but he doesn’t want to be wrong about this. He needs to hear it, needs to be certain about what Mike and James are saying.

Thankfully, Mike has no problem being blatantly honest.

“James jerked me off while telling me how he thinks you masturbate -” Ben blinks again “- and he came just from rubbing off against my ass.”

Oh. Ben looks to James for confirmation and sees his vibrant blush, and _oh_. He tosses up between bantering some more and throwing down some honesty of his own for all of two seconds – he’ll likely never get this chance again, he’s not going to waste the opportunity to be a tease.

“And how did you decide I masturbate, James?”

To his credit, James holds his gaze despite the furious blush colouring his face and ears.

“It would be easier to show you.”

 

* * *

The three of them had peeled out of the studio at a frightening speed, piling into Mike’s car so quickly Ben hadn’t even commented on the amount of shit Mike keeps hoarded in the back seat. The blond’s driving was even more erratic than usual; Ben was just glad he’d taken the tube to work this morning so he didn’t have a car to worry about. They make it to James’ flat in record time, and Ben doesn’t have time to feel insecure because as soon as they get in the door Mike’s grabbing his arm and dragging him into the bedroom. James sits back a little, giving them space, and he nods encouragingly at Ben when Mike pulls him in for a kiss that feels years overdue.

James has never had the chance to watch Mike kiss someone properly, even though he’s been on the receiving end of thousands. He’s seen Mike dole out kisses on the cheek like they’re nothing, even seen him give the boys quick pecks on the lips, but this is different. He’s never noticed how Mike’s brow furrows while he kisses, the way it does when he’s concentrating all his energy into something. Never seen the movement of his jaw while his tongue works, or the little smirk when his teeth worry at the other person’s lower lip. James can’t help but stare, transfixed by the incredible sight before him that should make him feel weird but just makes him _hungry_.

Mike pulls back a little, Ben’s lip slipping from between his teeth as they both catch their breath. Ben’s eyes are closed, his body impossibly still: both Mike and James feel a jolt of panic.

“Was that okay?”

Mike’s voice is so quiet. It’s silent for a breath and he’s about to repeat himself when Ben opens his eyes, nodding. James wishes he could see how blown-out those eyes are.

“That was,” Ben licks his lips and Mike’s eyes follow the movement, “very okay.”

“Then why are you so still?”

Ben pushes out a sigh, lips pouting around it.

“Because if I kiss you again I might never stop.”

James fails to bite back a wanton noise. Mike grins and beckons him over with a jut of his chin; his feet move of their own accord, drawing him to Ben like a magnet, and James feels a little thrill at how Ben needs to tilt his head right back for their lips to slot together. Ben’s lips are so soft, so _responsive_ , that James finds himself deepening the kiss with a hand on his neck before he can really think that maybe Ben wants to take things slow.

That idea is immediately scrapped when Ben moans into his mouth and surges up, wrapping both arms around James’ neck and pressing the soft line in his body into James. It’s so different to kissing Mike, who’s all about teasing and baiting and making James work for it. Ben pulls James close like he can’t get enough, taking everything James gives him and desperately seeking more, pawing at his neck to hold him in place.

When they come up for air James presses his forehead to Ben’s, not wanting to move away, and the sweet smile on Ben’s face makes his heart throb painfully in his chest. Ben steals another little kiss, leaning back when James chases his lips and _oh_ , okay, maybe he’s not that different to Mike after all. James grins.

“Tease.”

Ben giggles, and it lightens James’ heart; _this_ is the Ben that has been missing all day, and it’s so nice to hear that James rewards him with another quick kiss. James’ hands travel down from Ben’s neck to his chest, pausing at his shirt buttons in a question, and James can’t help the full-body shiver that rips through him when Ben breathes out a _yes_ against his lips.

It surprises James to find that his hands are shaking a little, fumbling with the buttons like he’s a teenager again, but Ben’s hands close around them and help him out and everything’s okay. Mike gets behind Ben to help James peel the shirt off his shoulders, laying kisses down on his newly-bared skin. Ben sighs happily, tilting his head back and baring his neck.

“Are we filming anything tomorrow?” Mike asks against Ben’s skin, grinning when the man shakes his head. The couple share a look, and James licks up Ben’s Adam’s apple once in warning before he bites down on the cords of his neck.

Ben lets out a surprised little squeak but he sinks into the sensation, suddenly going boneless in a way he never has before. He feels Mike’s hands at his waist, taking some of his weight as his body sways into James’, and it’s so fucking _hot_ to have someone on either side of him like this. He’s never done anything like this before, not even _close_ , and he’s certainly never been with people as sure of themselves as Mike and James are. Clearly they’re comfortable with each other, but they’re also comfortable with Ben already; Ben’s used to slightly awkward sexual encounters, used to being overly gentle and receiving the same treatment in return. The closest he’s ever come to rough sex was an old girlfriend who liked holding his wrists next to his head while she rode him, but that was the extent of it; having James fucking _chew_ at his neck is awakening a whole side to Ben he didn’t really know existed.

James seems to realise what he’s doing because he pulls back a bit, laving his tongue over the blooming bruises in a quiet apology. Mike chuckles, and Ben can feel the vibrations of it in his back.

“You’ll have to forgive James, he’s a bit of an animal sometimes.”

His voice is shockingly rough. Ben shakes his head, sucking in a desperate breath in an attempt to regain some composure.

“I don’t mind,” he whispers, surprised at how true the statement is. He’s spent the last year eyeing up the red-and-purple marks on Mike’s neck with a mixture of curiosity and want, so he has zero issues being on the receiving end of James’ ministrations. Mike hums appreciatively into his shoulder, and Ben can see that he’s giving James a meaningful look from the way James’ eyes narrow and darken. He looks _predatory_.

Ben has never been happier to be the prey.

James bites into his neck again, a little more gently this time, and it makes Ben grin around a sigh. They stay like that, James’ teeth gradually sinking deeper until Mike leans over Ben’s shoulder and bites down on the other side. Ben’s hips stutter into James’ reflexively, and the moan Ben’s already letting out spikes when he feels how hard James’ cock is against his own erection. He goes to undo his jeans but James’ hands stop him, placing his arms back by his sides.

“After the turmoil you went through today –”

“Self-inflicted,” Mike interjects, his words muffled because he’s still working at Ben’s neck.

“– self-inflicted, sure, but turmoil nonetheless,” James carries on fondly, “let us take care of you. We’ve both wanted this for so long, Ben.” Ben swallows hard at that, and he knows Mike feels it under his tongue. “Just let us take care of you.”

James’ words become a whisper; Ben can do nothing but nod. James mouths at his neck again, keeping his teeth away this time, but even those soft touches sting against his abused skin. Ben’s amazed to find he loves the pain, so he grabs at the short hair on the back of James’ head and pushes to intensify the feeling. The man chuckles into his skin and goes to undo Ben’s trousers, only to find Mike’s hands already there.

“Sneaky bastard,” James laughs. Mike just shrugs, wrapping his fingers around Ben’s achingly hard cock and watching James swallow the shorter man’s moan with a kiss.

They stay like this for a while, James and Ben kissing while Mike’s hand works over Ben’s cock, because Mike is honestly transfixed by the sight of his boyfriend snogging the life out of his best friend. When he feels Ben’s hips start to fuck into his grip, though, he decides it’s time to move things along.

He runs his free hand through James’ hair, leaning in to lick Ben’s spit off his boyfriend’s lips and steal a quick kiss. Then he turns and pulls Ben into a kiss, sucking on his tongue and chuckling at Ben’s mewling moan.

“Tell me, Ben,” he murmurs, “how do you want us to take care of you?”

Ben huffs out a laugh, even as his hips keep chasing Mike’s teasing grip.

“You could do whatever you want with me right now and I’d be happy.”

“Oh, wow. That’s a dangerous thing to say,” Mike purrs. Ben shudders happily. “What do you think we should do with him, love?”

James bites his lip, pretending to actually think about it.

“I’ve always wondered what Mike would look like with your dick in his mouth.”

Ben sputters as Mike chuckles into his shoulder, both of them impressed by James’ brazenness. James just smirks – he didn’t miss the way Ben’s hips bucked at that.

“I know Mike’s been wanting to suck you off for a while now, think you’d like that?”

Ben nods immediately, knowing how desperate he looks but he’s too gone to care. James and Mike switch positions, and it’s a good thing James’ hands are on Ben’s hips because the sight of Mike on his knees in front of him has Ben’s legs buckling. James chuckles as Ben leans back against him, clearly knowing exactly what he’s going through.

“You’ve thought about this before, haven’t you, Ben?”

His voice is sultry in Ben’s ear, and it sends his nerves firing as it travels down his spine. Ben nods, this weak little mewl dropping from his lips.

“I’ll bet you have. Did you touch yourself while thinking about it last night?”

Ben nods again.

“Do you think about it a lot?”

“Christ, James, give the man a break,” Mike scolds from the ground, and James peers over Ben’s shoulder to see Mike shaking his head with a hand wrapped around Ben’s dick. James keeps watching while Mike leans up and kitten-licks at the head, teasing Ben with that velvet-soft touch James can practically feel, he knows it that well. Ben breathes out hard, unable to take his eyes off the man in front of him.

“I’m just interested if he’s thought about it before,” James reasons, and Ben’s amazed at how level his voice is given how hard he’s grinding into Ben’s ass. “Wondering if he’s thought about your hot, tight mouth on his dick before. If he’s fucked his own hand imagining it was your mouth.”

Every word sends trickles of pleasure through Ben’s body, and it’s clearly affecting Mike too because Ben’s never had his dick sucked so energetically before. His mouth is every bit as wonderful as Ben imagined, his tongue even more sinful.

“I’ll bet he has,” James continues, both hands on Ben’s waist now as he works his hips against his body. “I know _you’ve_ thought about it, babe, taking Ben apart with just that perfect mouth. We’ve talked about it, you know.” He lets his breath play on Ben’s skin as he whispers in his ear. “Already told you we were thinking about how you masturbate, and that’s not the first time we’ve wondered.”

Ben has forgotten how to breathe. There is genuinely no part of his brain that can remember how to get oxygen into his body; he’s going to die between these two men and he’s going to die happier than he’s ever been.

“Show him how we think he does it, Mike, let’s see if we were right.”

Mike smirks and obeys, pulling his mouth away in favour of wrapping his hand back around Ben’s cock. It’s wet enough that he can start stroking it straight away, gripping tighter than he usually would and copying James’ movements from last night as best he can: it’s a little awkward to swipe his finger over the head from this angle but he does his best, and Ben clearly enjoys it.

“How close were we, Ben?” Mike grinds the heel of his palm into his own crotch at the sound of James’ voice, so deep and hot. Ben pants loudly, groaning at Mike’s touch. “Tell him how you do it, baby.”

Ben’s never been called ‘baby’ by _anyone_ before, let alone someone like James, and he lets him know how much he likes it by wiggling his ass back into his hips.

“Tighter,” he manages to say, choking out a moan when Mike complies. “Yes, shit, like that. A little faster.”

Mike takes his instructions perfectly, the slick sound of his hand on Ben’s wet cock getting louder as his hand speeds up. Ben throws his head back into James’ chest, sighing out praise, and he isn’t even surprised when James takes the opportunity to get his teeth on Ben’s neck again. The combination of pure pleasure from Mike’s hand and sharp pain from James’ teeth is mind-boggling. Ben can’t do anything but whine and focus on not coming yet.

“Feel good, Ben?”

Mike’s voice is so fucking smug but for once Ben can’t find the words to berate him – all he can do is moan in response. James has stopped assaulting his neck to just watch Mike, and it stuns Ben to realise that James doesn’t even need to lean to see over his shoulder. He feels the familiar static of pleasure start in his fingertips and he reaches out for Mike, trying to push him away, but James takes his arm and pulls it back to his side.

“We’ve got all night, baby, come whenever you want.”

“ _Fuck_ ,” Ben whines, nodding with his mouth hanging open. It doesn’t take him long at all, after that; just a few more pulls from Mike’s perfect tight grip and a particularly lewd swipe of James’ tongue and he’s coming hard, thankful for the hard line of James’ body behind him because otherwise he’d be on the ground right now. The aftershocks judder through him for what feels like hours, these helpless little noises dripping from his lips because he can’t even regain enough control to close his mouth.

It’s only when he comes down from his high that he realises his come is all over Mike’s face.

He rushes to apologise, fucking _mortified_ , but Mike’s smile silences him. James presses a kiss into the side of his head and whispers, “Don’t worry, he likes it,” and Ben’s cock makes a valiant effort to get hard again because _oh God_ , that’s so hot. He stares as Mike sucks the jizz off his fingers, remembering that point in the video when Mike had kissed James’ come into his own mouth. James correctly interprets his stare.

“Did you like watching Mike feed me my own come? Like the idea of us kissing it into each other’s mouths?”

His grip on Ben’s hips is so firm Ben’s certain he’s going to have bruises, and finds he has no problem with that. He sighs out an “uh-huh,” still beyond words; he isn’t surprised when Mike stands up and James pulls his face close to lick the come off, but that doesn’t stop the punched-out moan that leaves his lips. James doesn’t let up until Mike’s face is spotless, and Mike makes a face like he’s embarrassed by the attention – not embarrassed by having a faceful of come in the first place, mind you, just by James’ fastidious tongue.

Honestly, Ben should be expecting it when James grabs his head and pulls him into a kiss. He’s never really thought much about the taste of come – obviously he’s given blowjobs before, and he loves eating women out, but he’s usually not concentrating on the taste. Now, though, there’s nothing else to focus on, and he finds that it’s surprisingly okay. Not his favourite, sure, but he could do this forever if it means James will keep moaning shamelessly into his mouth.

Eventually they all pull apart, and Ben kicks his jeans off while Mike and James undress themselves. Even after everything that’s already happened, Ben feels a twinge of doubt at the sight of Mike playing with James’ hand, sucking a finger into his mouth and winking up at James’ smiling face. There’s an unwelcome voice in his head that tells him they’re done with him, they’ve got what they wanted and now they’re going to finish themselves off without him. It keeps him awkwardly rooted to the spot, just watching.

Mike notices his hesitance and motions him over, but Ben’s so lost in his own mind he barely notices. Mike sighs and whispers something to James, then scrambles off the bed. He holds his best friend’s face in his hands, expression open and soft and loving, trying to ground him.

“Ben,” he whispers, “get out of your head.”

Ben smiles at the familiar scene – Mike’s said those very words to him too many times to count when Ben gets worked up over a recipe that’s not working, or when he can’t get a line right. Mike had said the same thing when Ben was freaking out over Barry’s wedding cake, too, panicking because the ovens weren’t working and getting annoyed with himself because he should be a good enough chef that a funky oven doesn’t trip him up.

He does his best to centre himself and dispel his own cruel thoughts, accepting the kiss Mike presses to his lips and chasing it when Mike goes to pull away. The blond giggles, relenting, and they stay like that for a quiet moment. When Ben pulls away he feels a thousand times lighter and he can’t quell the smile on his face.

“Just got a little mesmerised by how big James’ dick actually is,” he laughs – it’s not entirely a joke, because his mouth is actually watering a little at sight of James’ fucking _hog_ of a dick – and Mike grins radiantly. Satisfied, he drags Ben onto the bed.

James pulls Ben in for a kiss as soon as he gets close enough, teasing but with none of the biting urgency he had before. Ben smiles into it because he knows what they’re doing and he appreciates the fuck out of it. He ends up with his knees on either side of James’ hips, and when he feels James’ hands rest on his thighs the way they did to Mike’s in the video his brain short-circuits a little.

“You okay?” James asks against his lips.

“Yeah,” Ben breathes, eyes clenched shut, “I just…can’t believe this is happening.”

James’ grip tightens on his thighs until Ben opens his eyes again, and he’s met by a gaze that’s so fond it makes him catch his breath.

“It’s happening,” James grins up at him. “And if it’s okay with you, this won’t be the only time it happens.”

“ _Fuck_ ,” Ben chokes out, his hips bucking of their own accord, “yes, that’s very, _very_ okay with me.”

He feels a hand run up his back to his shoulder, and leans back so he can return Mike’s kiss, hoping it conveys all the gratitude he feels. Mike sucks on his tongue, turning the fairly chaste kiss into something filthy so that Ben can’t help but grind his hips into James’ underneath him.

“Christ, you two look amazing,” James mutters, running his hands up over Ben’s waist and making a face when Ben sucks in his stomach. “Stop that,” he chastises, and Mike chuckles with recognition.

“James here has no time for our hang-ups about our bodies,” Mike mutters in Ben’s ear. Ben scoffs.

“Easy for him to say.” He runs a hand over James’ lean torso for emphasis, feeling the laughter rumbling through it under his palm. Mike hums in agreement, then slides his hands over Ben’s stomach.

“I have to agree with him, though, you shouldn’t try and hide.”

“I’m not _hiding_ ,” Ben grumbles, uncomfortable with the attention, “I just – I mean, I don’t exactly have anything to _show off_ , either.”

Mike tuts, shaking his head.

“You have _everything_ to show off, Benjamin, and I do wish you’d show it off more.”

He isn’t even joking, that’s the thing, and it makes Ben’s chest swell and ache with adoration. He lets out the breath he’s been holding and relaxes his stomach with it, letting Mike runs his hands over every dip and curve, every soft roll. Mike rewards his bravery by pressing soft kisses over his neck and shoulders, and James wraps a hand around Ben’s cock and starts a slow pace.

“You’re so beautiful, baby,” he breathes, his other hand gently squeezing at his ass. “So fucking beautiful, we’re so lucky we get to have you like this.”

Ben’s instinct is to argue that _he’s_ the lucky one but knows he’ll be met with disapproving looks, so he just nods. Happy with this response, James speeds up his pace on Ben’s cock, and soon Ben’s writhing in his lap like a horny teenager.

“Not to sound ungrateful, but are you two going to do anything other than jerk me off?”

He’s relieved when his voice carries the confident lilt he intended, and Mike and James both laugh in surprise. Mike gives him a swat on the ass, muttering, “We’ll leave you out if you’re not careful,” but he gets up anyway, taking Ben’s glasses with him. James pulls Ben down for a toe-curling kiss while Mike rummages around the bedside drawer, and the only warning Ben gets is a touch to the hip before he’s got a lubed-up finger running over his hole. James smirks against Ben’s lips.

“Are we not going to bother asking our boy how he wants to do this?” he asks, amusement colouring his voice. Mike just shrugs, starting to work the tip of his finger in.

“We did say we were gonna take care of him. Besides, he doesn’t seem to be complaining.”

He’s not wrong – Ben’s in heaven already, rocking back against Mike’s hand in seconds. Mike adds another finger quickly, muttering praise about how tight he is, and James’ hand is still working over Ben’s cock, a little slower now to avoid ending things too quickly.

“I can – _ah_ – take another one,” Ben breathes, rocking back hard on Mike’s two fingers. It’s been _ages_ since he’s done this but it’s not exactly something you forget, and he’s relaxed from his earlier orgasm anyway. Mike works the third finger in slowly, fingers curling and straightening and feeling so fucking _good_ ; it burns a little but Ben’s always loved the impatient feeling of being stretched a little too much a little too fast, and he’s too worked up to take things slowly right now. Soon Mike’s got three fingers comfortably in him and he’s twisting his wrist to open him up, making him squirm and pant with anticipation.

“Think you’re ready for his cock, Ben?” Mike whispers in his ear, and Ben nods frantically without really thinking about it. Mike kisses his cheek while he passes James a condom, and Ben’s a little intimidated as he watches James roll it down his cock. Suddenly he’s not so confident because James is _big_ , and the sight of his big hand being a little dwarfed by his massive cock makes Ben realise that that thing is going to be _inside him_.

He clenches unconsciously around Mike’s fingers, and the blond whispers an awed, “ _oh fuck_ ” into his skin.

Mike hands James the lube and the man slicks himself up slowly, eyes dark as they trail up the line of Ben’s body. Ben blushes at the attention. He sighs shamelessly when Mike pulls his fingers out, shuffling to position himself quickly because he’s fucking _gagging_ for it, and when he finally sinks down onto his dick James’ abs tighten and he sucks in a sharp breath. It takes Ben a moment to get all the way down, even despite Mike’s diligent preparations – it’s partly because there’s a lot to take and partly because Ben’s prolonging the stretch, delighting in the slight sting that promises him this is _real_ , this is actually happening. Eventually he sits himself right down, and James is so big it feels like he’s sitting in Ben’s throat and he can’t really close his mouth. In contrast to Ben’s speechlessness, James can’t seem to stop _talking_.

“ _God_ , Ben, you’re so fucking tight,” he sighs as Ben starts rocking back and forth, “feel so good, baby.”

Ben keens, amazed at how much he loves hearing James call him ‘baby.’ He starts lifting himself up and down experimentally, this punched-out gasp forced from his lungs by the pressure of James’ dick inside him. Mike’s still at his back, kissing his neck and running his hands up and down his sides, and Ben’s never had this much attention focused on him in his life. He feels so full of love and so weightless all at once, almost wanting to _cry_ with how happy he is. He pulls Mike into a kiss over his shoulder to muffle the way his breath is coming out of him in sobs, and the way Mike puts one hand on his cheek is so, so tender.

“You okay, Ben?” James asks from under them, thumbs rubbing circles into the meat of Ben’s thighs. Ben nods but he keeps his eyes clenched shut, just knowing that if he looks down at James’ gentle face he’ll actually cry. James leans up on an elbow and reaches up to the back of Ben’s neck, and Ben keeps his eyes closed even as he leans down to accept the kiss. The angle of James’ cock inside him shift and he moans into James’ mouth, feeling the man grin as he starts thrusting his hips steadily. James holds Ben in place as his dick finds his prostate over and over, and Ben can only press his face into James’ neck to muffle his hiccupping breaths in his skin.

“You two look so good,” Mike whispers from behind them. Ben bites at James’ neck so he makes a face, smiling into the abused skin when Mike laughs. Ben knows he isn’t going to last much longer: his cock is dragging along James’ stomach with every thrust and James is hitting that perfect spot inside him.

He breathes out, “I’m close,” amazed he can manage even those two words. James speeds up, a hand around Ben’s back to hold him in place as he fucks up hard, and Ben can’t even breathe as he approaches his second orgasm, can only hold onto James’ shoulders for dear life. It hits him harder than ever, waves and waves crashing over him as he finally lets go of the breath he’s been holding and moans into James’ neck. James keeps fucking up into him long after his shudders start to recede, and it’s too-much-too-much but Ben doesn’t ever want it to stop because nothing has ever felt this good.

When James finally stops they stay like that for a while, and it takes Ben an embarrassingly long time to realise that James came, too.

“Damn it,” he mutters, rushing to explain when James gives him a weird look. “I really wanted to watch you come.”

He’s blushing fiercely but James responds with a radiant grin, pulling him into a lazy kiss and saying, “We’ll just have to try again another time.” Ben smiles, that weightlessness making him feel like he might actually float away if it weren’t for James’ steadying hands. He belatedly realises that Mike still hasn’t come, though he’s shuffled around to kneel next to them so he could watch them properly. Ben turns to him and frowns when he sees Mike jerking himself off, batting his hand away so he can get his mouth around him. Mike moans in surprise but his hand works into Ben’s hair immediately, massaging at his scalp as Ben sucks him down. It’s over fairly quickly with how worked up Mike is, and Ben fights his instincts to pull off, instead letting Mike’s come pool on his tongue.  

He isn’t even surprised when James grabs his neck and pulls him into a kiss. He smiles as James’ tongue laves at every inch of his mouth, cleaning out every trace of Mike and swallowing it down greedily. Eventually they’re just kissing messily, too worn-out to be anything but clumsy, and Ben only pulls away so he can reach for Mike and kiss him, too.

Finally Mike pulls away with a happy sigh, this delightful flush on his cheeks that Ben’s never really seen before. It amazes him that even though he’s known Mike for years and years, there are so many things about him that he’s only seen for the first time tonight – he hopes he gets a chance to see more. Ben leans up when his lower legs start tingling, completely forgetting that James’ dick is still inside him, and both men moan with over-sensitivity as it slides out. Ben can’t do anything by roll over and lie next to James, feeling so fucked-out he might never move again, but if it means James will keep tracing circles into his shoulder and Mike will keep gazing at him like he’s the most beautiful thing in the world, it’s a sacrifice he’ll happily make.

For a little while, it’s just this. Just the three men lying in James’ stupidly large king bed, sweaty and messy and content. James still has Ben’s come on his stomach and it’s drying into a crusty stain but he doesn’t really care, doesn’t _mind_ , even. His breath is steady as his chest aches with happiness, so thankful that he gets to have this. He doesn’t know what’s going to happen next, if Ben wants this to happen again or if he’d prefer to keep his distance, but if this is the only night they have together James is going to savour every moment. He knows he’s staring at Ben but their friend looks so perfect, sleepy and happy and like he doesn’t have a care in the world, which is such a rare sight to see.

Mike snuggles into Ben, making himself small so he can curl into his side, and Ben fulfils a lifelong dream of running his fingers through the blond’s sweaty hair and feeling the man’s breath drift over his chest.

“I always wondered how you seemed to bruise so easily, Mike, whenever you came in with more purple on your neck than your actual skin colour.” Ben’s fingers scratch gently at Mike’s scalp and the man shivers, purring happily. “I don’t think I gave you enough credit for having an actual animal for a boyfriend.”

Mike laughs, a wonderfully open sound, and James joins in on Ben’s other side.

“You’re lucky he was on his best behaviour tonight,” Mike chuckles as he traces unspoken words into Ben’s chest, “soon he’ll be so comfortable he’s pulling the knives out without even asking."

For what feels like the millionth time in the past twenty-four hours, Ben’s brain grinds to a halt.

“…knives?” he asks, breathless. Mike hears his heart rate pick up and grins wickedly.

“Oh my, James, I think our boy might be interested in seeing your skills.”

James hums in response, running his thumb over his fingertips like he’s warming them up. Ben gulps at the sight – James catches him and winks, this lascivious move that is so unlike James but is somehow completely natural.

“There’s an awful lot about James’ sex life that would probably surprise you, you know.”

Ben nods slowly at Mike’s words; two days ago he would have laughed the idea off, but given everything that’s happened since he has no doubt that the depths of James’ sexual appetite are endless.

“I don’t doubt it,” he replies. “The fact that I’m _here_ surprises me.”

Mike leans up on an elbow, eyeing Ben with a fondness that has the man dropping his gaze, unable to meet the look of sheer adoration.

“For someone so perceptive about everything else in our relationship, Ben, I’m amazed you didn’t notice our interest sooner.”

“You weren’t exactly forthcoming about it,” Ben grouches.

“You think all those times I pinched your bum were just to be annoying?”

Ben stares. “ _Yes_ ,” he answers, giving James a ‘can you believe this guy?’ look. James makes a face in agreement.

“Can’t say I blame you,” the redhead chimes in, quirking an eyebrow at Mike’s indignant expression, “but I do think you were being intentionally dim.”

Ordinarily that would rile him but Ben just laughs – nothing could bother him tonight.

“Well I think you two were being intentionally ambiguous.”

“ _I_ think,” Mike interrupts, “that you’re both ruining a perfect moment and you should shut up and enjoy it.”

The other two quieten down, suitably chastised, and Mike snuggles himself back into Ben’s chest with a smug smile. He lets himself enjoy the novelty of finally – _finally_ – being able to hold Ben like this without having to create some convoluted excuse for doing so. This whole evening feels surreal, the way it had his first night with James; honestly, he’d spent the first few nights with James waiting for the rug to be pulled out from under him. He feels a little like that now, like everything is too good and _something_ has to go wrong, but since being with James he’s learnt that sometimes things can actually be as good as they feel. He tightens his arm around Ben’s stomach, trying to convey his intense bliss without breaking the comfortable silence. Ben’s hand closes around Mike’s, and they share a look that makes Mike’s whole body fizzle with love.

“Ben,” James asks quietly, “do you want to do this again?”

Mike feels Ben’s laughter before he hears it, and it says a lot about how incredible tonight was that it doesn’t worry Mike for a second.

“I can’t believe you actually feel the need to ask me that,” Ben giggles. There’s a pause, and Mike imagines James is giving Ben a sincere look, because Ben takes a breath. Mike’s head rises and falls with the movement of his chest. “Yes, James, I want to do this again. As many times as you’ll let me.”

“Good,” James says definitively, “because we’re certainly not done with you yet.”

 

* * *

 

Ben stays the night. The three of them fit surprisingly comfortably in the bed, Ben sandwiched between the other two, and even though it’s fairly hot in the middle he couldn’t be persuaded to move for anything in the world. He sleeps so well it more than makes up for the previous night’s sleepless turmoil. When he wakes in the morning with James’ arm draped over his body and Mike curled up into his chest, James’ words from yesterday come back to him: he wonders how long they could have been doing this, how many months, _years_ even, they’ve all wasted skirting around one another. He wonders how many hints Mike and James have dropped that he’s just completely missed, or how many times he’s flirted with them and unintentionally led them on.

James’ alarm goes off just after seven, and the man presses a soft kiss into Ben’s hair before he gets up to start breakfast. Mike squirms sleepily, grumbling when Ben gives him a shove, and Ben can only smile because this is exactly what he’d imagined this would be like. Mike catches him smiling and steals a kiss that deepens almost immediately, stale morning breath be damned. After a long time they pull away and get up; Mike heads for the shower and Ben resists the urge to make a joke about joining him because they’re already going to be late to work at this rate. Instead he joins James in a kitchen that’s filled with the mouth-watering smell of coffee and cooking, voice gravelly with sleep when he thanks James for the omelette placed in front of him.

“Sleep well?” James asks. His tone suggests it could just be any other day but his face is a mask of contentment, a little smile indelibly etched at his mouth and a brightness in his eyes that belies the greyness of the sky outside. Ben nods, laughing a little when James catches his eye and quirks his brow smugly.

“Better than I have in a long time,” he says honestly. The way James looks at him makes him feel ten feet tall; he feels more loved that he has in a long, long time.

It takes them longer to get ready than usual because both Mike and James keep stealing kisses from Ben. At one point James gets Ben penned in against the dresser and starts rolling his hips teasingly like they have all the time in the world, kissing him so deeply it takes them both a second to realise Mike’s telling them off for wasting time. It leaves Ben panting and hard, having to tuck his hard dick uncomfortably into the waistband of yesterday’s jeans.

That’s another issue: Ben only has the clothes he wore to work yesterday, and though the shirt is fairly a fairly nondescript one (and he was wearing his chef’s jacket most of yesterday), someone’s bound to notice that he hasn’t changed.

When he looks in the mirror to fix his hair, all thoughts of his clothes melt away because _oh God_ , his _neck_. His skin is a tapestry of bruises, a purplish-red mess that his shirt collar doesn’t even come close to covering. He does his best to tell James off but all the man does is press his fingers into the tender skin and grin when Ben moans. Ben borrows a scarf, thankful it’s chilly enough that he can get away with it, but he doesn’t miss the way James looks mildly miffed at having his hard work covered up.

They arrive at the studio half an hour late, which is honestly an impressive achievement. Rachel gives Ben a once-over, her eyes pausing curiously at the scarf, but she doesn’t say anything. Ben makes a mental note to make a batch of red velvet cupcakes for her when he gets the chance, as a thank-you for her tact. Jamie and Barry aren’t quite so merciful – Jamie makes some joke about what the three of them have been up to but Barry immediately spots Ben’s unchanged clothing. He doesn’t say anything at first, but Ben sees the penny drop when James offers to make a round of teas and accepts Jamie’s annoying request for coffee instead without even a hint of a grumble. He raises an eyebrow at Ben, who tries desperately to look nonplussed in response, and sits back with this cheeky smile playing at his lips that has Ben’s heart rate picking up dangerously.

It doesn’t help that Mike and James can’t seem to stop touching him. Mike’s already wandering hands seem to be permanently on vacation today, all over Ben’s body like he’s wished they could be for years. James keeps crowding in behind Ben when he really doesn’t need to, and every time he does it reminds Ben of their unfinished business this morning and makes him frustratingly hard. James also won’t stop touching his neck and even with the scarf as a buffer, every touch stings deliciously. Ben has to keep biting down on the little noises that try to escape, and he’s _so thankful_ they’re not filming today because having a camera catch every bitten lip and hitching breath would be mortifying.

Barry keeps quiet until they’re eating lunch. The five of them duck out to the Thai place down the road; ordinarily they eat in the studio but they have a little extra time on the days they don’t film, and today they take advantage of that. They’ve just ordered, and Barry waits for their server to make it back to the front counter before he asks, “So what did you three get up to last night?”

Ben chokes on his mouthful of water, coughing wetly when it goes down the wrong pipe. James slaps him on the back to avoid answering immediately, rubbing wide circles as Ben wipes tears from his eyes. Mike suddenly becomes very interested in the menu, reading it diligently despite the fact that they’ve already ordered their food. Barry just leans smugly back in his chair – obviously that’s enough of an answer for him.

Jamie, however, looks between the four of them with confusion writ clearly on his face.

“What _did_ you get up to?” he asks, almost childishly puzzled. Barry bites down on a smile.

“Ben,” he asks, changing tack, “it’s a little warm in here, don’t you think?”

Ben’s eyes are wide, still watering from his coughing fit before.

“Wouldn’t you be more comfortable if you took your scarf off?”

Three sets of panicked meet Barry’s at once, and a look of comprehension starts to dawn on Jamie’s face. He looks open-mouthed between Barry and Ben’s scarf, smile growing as he notices the matching blushes on Ben and James’ faces. Their food comes and Ben, James, and Mike immediately dig in, shovelling as much food in their faces as possible to avoid having to talk. Jamie and Barry just grin at each other before starting up a conversation about last night’s football match. Mike thinks he might be off the hook until Barry asks what he thought of Tottenham’s defence, and he has to admit he didn’t get a chance to watch the game.

 

* * *

 

“Not to be cliché,” Barry starts, having finally got James to himself in the kitchen, “but if either of you hurt Ben I will not hesitate to hurt you back. 

James is a little surprised, given how Jamie and Barry had spent all lunch laughing and joking about it, but he doesn’t doubt Barry’s sincerity. He’d been given the same treatment when he and Mike had first started dating, though obviously this is a little different: he and Mike are already firmly established, and Ben is notoriously hopeless in romantic relationships, so the situation is infinitely more fraught now. James nods.

“Believe me, Baz, neither Mike nor I have any intention of hurting him. At all.”

“I don’t doubt you have no _intention_ of it, but that doesn’t mean it won’t happen. I just want you two to be careful.” He sucks in a sharp breath and blows it out slowly. “Be careful with him.”

James nods again. He can’t find the words to respond to Barry’s intensely protective look, but Barry doesn’t look like he wants an answer. He just gives a decisive nod and turns to walk away, then looks back.

“You really need to work on your carnivorous tendencies, by the way. Ben’s gonna get heatstroke if he has to wear scarves all the time.”

James blushes and laughs, making a non-committal noise because he has no intention of changing his ways. Barry gives him a long look, a soft smile playing at his mouth.

“I’m glad you finally told him how you feel,” he says quietly. Then he walks away, leaving James gaping after him.

 

* * *

 

“You two had better take care of Ben,” Jamie says nonchalantly, like it’s a totally ordinary thing to say. Mike jumps a little – he hadn’t realised anyone was behind him in the editing booth. He turns in his chair, wiggling his shoulders a little to adjust his hunched-over posture, and finds Jamie leaning against the banister of the booth. Jamie isn’t even looking at him, is gazing over the studio absent-mindedly, but Mike nods anyway.

“We will,” he says, imbuing his words with as much sincerity as he can because they _will_ take care of him. Jamie nods, finally looking at him.

“It feels weird to be threatening one of my best friends, but seriously, mate: if you hurt him, you’ll pay the price.”

“I don’t doubt it’s a hefty one,” Mike replies. “And you gave me this talk when James and I started dating, too, don’t forget.”

Jamie shrugs.

“This is different,” he says simply, and Mike can’t even argue with that so he just nods again.

“Outside of everything else, Jay, Ben is still my best friend. The last thing I ever want to do is make him unhappy.”

“I know that,” Jamie insists, his expression so open it makes Mike’s chest ache, “but sometimes we do stupid shit without meaning to – no offence, Mike, but you’re kind of a master at that.”

Again, Mike can’t argue with that.

“Just – just be open with each other, yeah? Make sure you and James aren’t shutting him out without meaning to, or you’re not expecting things from Ben that he’s not comfortable with.”

“Mate, we haven’t even had a chance to figure this whole thing out yet,” Mike confesses. “I know what James and I want, but we still need to talk it out with Ben. And we will,” he insists at Jamie’s worried look, “we absolutely will, tonight. Didn’t have time this morning.”

He ends with a wink, making Jamie roll his eyes.

“Okay, good,” Jamie sighs, and Mike can see the tightness in his brow release a little. It’s quiet for a moment, Jamie looking out over the studio again with a contemplative frown on his face. Eventually he asks, “What’s Ben like in bed?”

Mike laughs, louder than is probably necessary but it’s such a relief to feel the tension dissipate. He sighs, blowing out a heavy breath.

“Do you really want me to tell you that? I could go on for hours,” he grins lewdly, laughing again when Jamie covers his eyes.

“No, you know what? Forget I ever asked. I’m leaving now, please don’t masturbate in the editing booth, goodbye forever.”

Mike’s joyous laugh follows Jamie’s rapid retreat down the stairs. Jamie avoids Barry’s gaze, just shaking his head when he’s asked how it went, but Barry understands. He shoots a look up at Mike, getting a cheeky shrug in response.

It doesn’t escape either Mike or James’ notice that Ben doesn’t get a talking-to, but it doesn’t bother them: if there’s anyone in the world who doesn’t need to be told to be responsible, it’s Benjamin David Ebbrell.

 

* * *

 

They let Ben go back to his place after work to finally get changed and water his plants, but he promises to come over for dinner. James tells him to pack a bag, enjoying the happy blush that spreads over his cheeks. He and Mike get back home and start on dinner, Mike prepping the vegetables while James starts on the stock. They’re making mushroom risotto because it’s a favourite of Ben’s, and they’ve already decided that tonight is all about him. “Again,” Mike had joked, with no bite whatsoever because he’s got no issue with it.

Mike and James barely even need to have their own conversation about what they want with Ben: they both love him desperately, and seeing as they’ve both been interested in him since before they even got together there’s no doubt they’d love to call him their boyfriend. The only concern is Ben, really. He’s not big on relationships in general, and getting involved in a relationship with two people at once might not be something he’s at all interested in. Not that that would be the worst thing in the world: it would be disappointing, sure, but Mike and James certainly aren’t going to expect anything more from their friend that he’s comfortable with, and if last night is all they get then it’s more than they could ever have asked for.

When Ben knocks at the door the risotto is only a few minutes off being ready, and Mike leaves James stirring so he can let Ben in. He gives him a quick peck on the lips then lets Ben deepen the kiss, wrapping his arms around his waist and holding him close. They only pull apart when James shouts a greeting from the kitchen, and Mike presses a finger into the bruises on Ben’s neck to see his mouth drift open before he lets him head into the kitchen. Ben kisses James, too; Mike notices how James instantly stops stirring to concentrate on Ben, and it makes his heart swell. Eventually the risotto’s done and they sit down to eat, Mike and James on either side of the table with Ben at the head, and Ben doesn’t miss the fact that they’ve made one of his favourite meals.

“So,” he starts after a few minutes of comfortable silence, stirring at his food with his fork, “I guess we should talk about…things.”

Mike chuckles around a mouthful of risotto, nodding. James puts his fork down.

“First of all, what do you want, Ben?” he asks, turning his whole body towards the man. Ben shrugs a little, because even though he’s spent all day thinking about it, he’s still not entirely sure.

“I’m not good with relationships, as I’m sure you know.” He grins at Mike’s knowing smile. “And I have no idea how a relationship between three people would even work, but…I’ve watched the two of you since you got together and you’ve got something really magical. If I can be even a little involved in that, if I can have even a tenth of what you have together, I’d be so happy.”

James and Mike share a hopeful look. James gives his boyfriend a little nod, indicating that he should be the one to talk.

“For what it’s worth, we have no idea how a three-way relationship would work, either,” Mike chuckles. “I’ve never done it before, neither has James, and obviously you haven’t. But I know that we both love you, and we’d be so honoured to have you as our boyfriend. Fully involved, one hundred percent a part of everything we have.”

Ben’s head is ducked but James can see his smile, and he steals a look at Mike to find him gazing at Ben with such intense love it thrills him. Eventually Ben raises his head, face glowing with a fierce blush but he looks so, so happy. He’s nodding slowly and James finds himself nodding too, his goofy grin on his face that he couldn’t quell if he tried.

“Okay,” Ben says, so quietly it’s almost a whisper. “I can’t promise I’ll be good at this, okay, I’m _very_ out of practice with romantic relationships, but I’d really, really like to try.”

Mike leans over, his food forgotten, and pulls Ben in for a long, slow kiss. James just watches them, enthralled by what a gorgeous sight they make, cataloguing every little jaw movement and flash of tongue. He makes an unconscious noise in the back of his throat and Ben pulls away from Mike to give James a teasing smile. James reaches over and presses a little on his neck, grinning when Ben’s face goes slack with pleasure. He goes back to his food, aiming for nonchalance and probably missing by a mile, given the massive grin that’s still plastered on his face.

When they finish eating James and Mike gather the dishes, insisting that Ben stay seated. They put away the leftovers and stack the dishwasher quickly, eager to get back to Ben, and something in James’ heart throbs when he sees Ben sitting on his couch, looking comfortable and safe. They sit there for a while, Ben again sandwiched between the other two with James’ arm over his shoulders and Mike’s hand on his thigh, and Ben’s never been so intensely happy as he is in this moment. He says as much, James pressing a kiss into his hair in response while Mike just sighs happily, cuddling into his side. A thought occurs to Ben out of the blue:

“You said you two were going to film another sex tape.”

James nods, nonplussed. Ben blushes, just a little, and he doesn’t look away from the television when he speaks.

“Will you send it to me?”

He looks over in surprise when James shakes his head, but isn’t left in the lurch for too long.

“Won’t need to – you’ll be the starring role.”

**Author's Note:**

> I realise the threesome scene is a bit of a mess – I wrote it as super detail-oriented at first then tried to add some introspective stuff later, and it became the confused jumble it is now. Honestly this fic spiralled out of control and just kept spiralling, so by the time it came to editing I just had no energy to change it too much. I also realise that the whole camera thing gets completely forgotten halfway through but this was _a lot_ , okay, and I'm tired.
> 
> Shouts out to the Sorted discord server for motivating me and getting me through this monster of a project, and also to the bag of lollies that I had to refill like eight times while writing. Also, hands up if you could tell I had no idea what to title this. I was too tired by the time I finished to find a good lyric to quote, so this is what you get instead.
> 
> Also I don't have a beta reader, so any mistakes are my own.


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